Depression? And babies 31 and 32

 Sam had to go to school sometime so I had to let him go. He kissed my forehead and headed out the door. I felt numb and my head was heavy from the cying. I sat and thought about what I would do. I had watched the news a little bit more last night. Nothing but weather. I came to believe they would never have another report on them in Iraq. Then a headline flashed and I turned the tv up. It was about some celebrity finally going to rehab. I watched it for over 3 hours. Yeah that's right a celebrity goes to get sobered up for a month and she gets a whole 3 hours. 2 possibly 3 dead from protecting our country only get like a half hour.
      I finally Turned the tv off. I grabbed my phone. It didn't turn on at first but then it finally flashed to the power screen. Once it was up and ready to go I put in Bridgets number. It was early but I hoped she would pick up. I heard a button click. 'You've reached Bridget! Leave a message when you hear the beep....... beep..... Haha! Wrong one!'  I smacked my head. Where the hell could she be. Suddenly my phone started to ring frantically. Thank god it was Bridget. "Hey, waddya need?" Her bubbly voice asked. "Uh, could you come over?" I sniffled. "Cait what's wrong?" She asked frantic. "I'll tell you when you get here. Remember new address." I said quietly. "I'll be over there as soon as possible!!" She said. Then the line went dead. I started to cry once again so I crawled onto the couch and laid down. This was going to be a long couple days.

 I sprawled myself out on the couch. The baby monitor that was on the coffee table had no noise other than the light snoring of the little ones. I hadn't woken them up. I stared through the windo upside down. A few people were out walking, a person was out jogging but other that that the sidewalk was dead. I thought about going for a walk today but I remembered I only had a one person stroller and at the moment I had 4 little ones that need assistance. That idea was blown out the window.
      I finally saw Bridget pull up in her old raggedy car. Sure I couldn't say anything because mine was the same exact way but hers had to be repaired big time. She parked it on the curb and got out of her car. I could notice her bump from this far. She hadn't told me she was seeing that guy, or even that she was pregnant! I was a little mad but I let it slide.

 She had a gigantic belly. She waddled all the way up to the door. She burst right through the door and saw me on the couch. "Oh god.." She sighed. "Let's get you dressed alright hun?" She said sweetly. "Alright.." I sniffled. She led my up to my room, well I told her where it was and she sat on my bed as I got dressed. "Nice bump." I sighed. "Cait I was going to tell you. We weren't sure to tell anyone since we're not married and all." She sighed too. I got a little steamed. "But I'm your best friend." I said quietly. "I know! I would have told you I promise! But I thought it would be better in surprise form..." She said. I rolled my eyes. "Uh-huh.." I whispered. "It's a boy. We're naming him Gabriel." She said softly. I didn't answer back. I finished getting dressed then walked over to her. I rubbed her belly lightly.
    "Hi baby Gabriel. It's auntie Caitlin.." I said smiling. As if on cue Gabriel kicked. Bridget smiled. "He likes you." She remarked happily. I led Bridget back downstairs. She sat on the couch at first but then she said that was hurting her back so she sat on the floor. "Alright tell me everything." She said.

 After an hour of explaining everything I had Bridget in tears and I was sobbing once again. I laid on the couch once again. "Oh my gosh." Bridget sniffled. "I know...." I said quietly. We stayed like this for another half hour when the baby monitor started to unleash cries. I jumped up off the couch. "Baby alert.." I sighed. At the moment I was being selfish and didn't want to deal with my children....

 Before I could run upstairs Bridget pulled me into a hug. "Let me help you with the kids today alright?" She whispered. "You sure?" I asked. "Absolutely positive" she replied with a smile.

We started to age up the children. It would help a little bit. Sammy decided he would go first.

He age into a handsome teenager. He no longer needs to go to school since he had already finished classes up until college.

Then I aged up Harry. I helped him blow out his one little candle which made me kind of happy.

He turned into a cute littel boy.

Samuel decided he would help with the little girls. He brought Tara up to the cake.

Then little Hollie.

And finally Damion.

They all aged up beautifully. Tara looks a lot like her father with his snow white hair and Hollie and Damion are spitting images of each other.. Bridget told me she would entertain them for a while so I could take a nap. I took the oppurtunity gladly.

Instead of taking a nap like I was supposed to I ran up to my room and cried in the corner. I didn't know what to do. I had called the news people multiple times. They never knew anything which just made me sadder. I sat in my room for a long time just thinking about it. What if he died horribly? What if his body was never found? Thinking made me cry even more so I stopped. Then Bridget came in my room.

 (A flashback from Iraq idea inspired by Dylan Simse. POV Matthew...)
      We were at the base camp just screwing around. Morgan wanted to take a picture for his girls. So we all set up in poses as if we were holding guns and ready to shoot the bad guys. We hadn't seen much action from where we were which was more of a blessing. Because less terror means a sooner homecoming. "Nice picture guys!" Morgan said with a smile.  Rilia and I both started laughing Morgan never smiled. EVER!
      "You guys are so immature." Morgan said diving into the tent to grab something. He emerged with a small walkie talkie that was exploding with sounds. 'Bomber attack in affect in the middle of the town. People are unsure and so are we. Who can go and check it out?' The voice rang. Something was happening.. Something big.. Morgan clicked the walkie on "We got it. Repeat we got it. Morgan, Ralia, and Humphrey are on it." He said. Ralia stepped back. "We gotta take out the bomber?" He stuttered. "If there even is one. Grab a gun and lets go." Morgan said handing out guns. I crossed my fingers and gave an air kiss to Caitlin. Ralia hit my shoulder. "Don't worry you'll be able to see your babe in a little while." he said laughing. I had never thought of Caitlin as a 'babe' a godess maybe but never a babe...

We made it to the accused bombers place. At first nothing happened but then you could hear the soft ticking sound of a bomb. Morgan looked at us in a panic. "RUN!" He yelled. We all started to turn but the bomb blew up debris flew at us. It whacked me a few times. I looked over to see nobody. Where had Morgan and Ralia gone? Finally something whacked me in my head I fell to the ground. Burning pieces of clothing and furniture fell from the sky. Some fell on me and others fell all around sparking more and more fires.

I was about to get up when a bigger explosion went off. More things blews everywhere, more people were caught in this one. Something fell on my upper body and my shirt blossomed with blood. I turned to my back and covered my head. This had to end sometime. I finally rose to my feet. The bomb had been completely detonated and what stood left of the building was debris and small remains.

I ran to the building. Morgan and Ralia were know where in sight. "Morgan?" I screamed. "Ralia?" I screamed louder. Not a sound and not a movement. I limped to the building. A few things fell off of the remaining walls. Fire sparked all around. Something softly fell off of a rubble pile and my eyes darted to the sight.

I could see Ralia's body stuck deep under a gigantic pile. i kneeled down and tried to pull him out. Things fell from the top of the pile and they clattered to the ground. I finally managed to pull Ralia free. "Come on Dave..." I whispered as I felt for his pulse. His clothes were caked in blood and his head was cut clear to the bone. "Dave.. Dave open your eyes.. For your girls..." I whispered as I didn't feel any pulse. I sighed I pulled him out to the open when I saw Morgan wedged in a smaller pile.

"Morgan!" I yelled looking at his disfigured body. I pulled the rubble off of his mangled body. "Morgan..." I whispered. "I didn't even know your first name dude.." I whispered. I put his body near Ralia's. No man left behind. Their together I guess Then out of nowhere a man ran out of the building.

"SIR!" I shouted. "SIR!" I shouted once again then I realized he had a bomb strapped around his chest. "Sir!" I ran after him painfully. "Sir!" I tried once again. He didn't turn around once. I grabbed my chest and ran faster after him. I wasn't going to let him get away to kill more people. He kept running and running. I finally decided he wasn't going to stop. I pulled my gun out of my pocket. I shot once and missed. Another time, and missed once again. I had one more bullet and decided to save it for the right moment.

Then man slowed down. We were in a rough terrain nobody was around. I aimed my fire. If I hit him wrong I would be caught in his suicide bomb. I put my finger on the trigger. I didn't want to kill him. He deserved to live. But then again he would just end up killing more. Suddenly he turned around. He showed me the bomb and was just about to press the button when I sent the bullet straight through his brain. He turned slightly and fell to the ground.

He laid there for a while until I decided his rain of terror was over. I turned the other way and booked it out of there. My shirt was caking with dried blood but as I ran my hand under it more blood emerged. I wiped my hands on my pants and felt my ears I could feel wetness. I pulled my hand back down to reveal blood.

I kept running until my clumsiness took over. I fell down a hill and landed way at the bottom. I couldn't get back up, each time I tried my arms turned to jelly and I fell back down. I didn't want to die like this. Who would tell Caitlin how I died without it killing her? Who would deliver the daily letters I wrote to her? Who would love her as much as I do? And who would miss me besides her? She was my all. I slowly closed my eyes and after that everything went blank.

Caitlins Pov in the present time..
      Bridget had pulled me out of my bedroom. I hadn't realized I had been in there for over 5 hours. It was already nightfall. She pulled me all the way down the steps. Then she sat me on the recliner and fed me. "I'm staying the night.." She told me. "Then take a bed upstairs. You can sleep in my bed. I'll take the couch." I told her. "No I will take the couch. Alright?" She said. "Your pregnant!" I responded. "Oh well." She said. She laid on the couch and slowly fell asleep.
      I sat on the recliner and laid my head on my arms. I couldn't cry anymore I had run out of tears. So I just sat and thought about all the things I loved about him. Everything I knew about him. My thoughts took up a lot of time.

Finally Bridget awakened. "Your really still up?" She said in a frustrated voice. "Yeah.." I whispered. She sat up and patted the seat right next to her. I got up and sat down next to her. She wrapped her arm around me.

"Talk." She whispered letting go of me. "What's on your mind?" She asked. "Just... A lot of things I guess. I just don't know what to do with the kids.." I told her. "You can age them all up." She suggested. "Yeah and rob them of their childhood? I can't do that... I need to stop being selfish." I sighed. "You being selfish? You have all the right to be sad or angry or whatever, yoiu have the right to do what you want." Bridget told me. I smiled her way. Then Sam came clunking down the steps.

I got up and he started to talk to me. "Can I age up please?" He asked. "Yeah. Yeah you can." I said with a smile. "Yes! Thanks!" Sam said with a smile.

 Sam aged into a handsome young man.

 "Bye mom. Call me whenever you need or want to." He whispered in my ear. "Will do." I said with a smile. He left the house. Bridget jumped from the couch and clutched her stomach and screamed. "You're havin the baby!" I said with a gigantic smile. "Lets go!" She screamed in terror.

 "Hurry up!" She yelled running to the car. "I had to call the babysitter!" I told her. "I can't believe you have 30 of these things!" She screamed opening the car door. We made it to the hospital in under 10 minutes thanks to my driving. We got Bridget a room and had called her boyfriend.

 Yep thats right Spencer Reid is going to be a daddy. :D :)

 She gave birth to a brilliant baby boy. Reid and her had stuck with the name Gabriel. I was deemed his god mother. I was an aunt. My day had gotten surprisingly better.

 "Now we have to redecorate the nursery!" Bridget said laughing. I laughed a little too. Then I came to realization.

 "Bridget.. Go home. You just had a baby. Go home relax.. I'll be just fine." I told her. "I can't leave you like this!" She said shocked. "I'll be okay. I'm not a little kid anymore. Alright?" She handed Gabriel off to Spencer. She gave me a great big hug. "Fine. I'll go. But if you need anything I will get it for you. Anything your little heart desires." She said hugging me. "How about a nice healthy Matthew?" I asked. "Okay I lied. I can't get you anything. He'll come back safe and sound though I promise." She said giving me one last hug. Then we said our goodbyes and she left.

 Harry came down the steps. He pulled me into a hug. "I love you mommy." He said before running out the door for school. "Love you too." I whispered. Then he left for school. I decided I would go somewhere to think. I called the babysitter and left.

 I decided to go to the gravyard to think. Weird I know but it helped me. I walked over to my fathers grave and sat down.

 I didn't say anything for a few hours. I just sat there as if waiting for a response. But nothing came.

I got up and went over to Matthews mom's grave. I sat there for a while but then started to talk. "I promise Matt will come back safe and sound.." I whispered trying to talk to her but I think I was jsut talking to myself to reassure the thought.

 I got up to leave at nightfall. Many of the ghosts were emerging from their graves and returning to their loved ones. I snuck around a bit and peered at all the names. There was quite a collection. Then I got into my car and drove home.

I returned home to my three little girls. My mind was cleared and I vowed that tomorrow would be a better day. I hadn't had any word from anybody about Matt. I decided to think the best. The best being he would be found safe and okay.

 Did I mention I 'borrowed' three tombstones. I was going to aim for the goal of a ghost baby sometime in my challenge. These guys will help me in the long run. I ran up to my bedroom. I kissed one of the pictures of Matthew. "I love you." I whispered. Then I crept into my pajamas and snuggled into my bed.

 In the morning I felt extremly better. A full nights rest really did me well! I decided I should teach the little ones their skills. I started with Damion. "Alright babe lets do this!" I encouraged. She struggled to stay on her two little feet and then fell to the ground with a small thud. I laughed then helped her up. "Why don't we try again?"

 Harry was having fun playing outside. He got right on the little rider and began riding wildly. Then he bounced off of it and began running around. Finally he settled down adn his amazement began to blossom with the butterflies.

 He ran straight to them and tried to catch one. He did actually catch one but once he saw it he screamed and threw it back into the air. Then he ran up into the fort. He didn't come back down for a while.

 I had finally progressed to teaching Tara how to walk. This sure took quite a while to teach them their skills. Although it was keeping my mind off of other things.

And finally I reached Hollie. It was already 7 pm and it was getting pretty dark so I would have to do this pretty quickly because all three still needed to be fed, bathed, and put to bed. I quickly got her on her feet and then she needed no help. She began running around and chasing Harry all over. Well that just made my night a thousand times easier.

 In the morning I prepared some waffles. Harry slid down the staircase as soon as the scent came to his nose. While he was eating I gave the girls some baby food. There was a knock on the door. My heart skipped a beat what if it was Matt? I ran to the door and found myself a little sad when it was a different man.

 I walked outside. "Hello." I said with a light smile. "Hi. Should I just get to the point?" the pimp like man asked. "Sure." I said. "Alright, my friends are givin me a hard time. Tellin me I will never be a daddy and well that offended me until I saw the light and figured it was probably true. So I looked frantically for mothers, I even went on dating sites to see if I could hook up with a lady. I finally came across a headline in the paper. Said a Caitlin Murray was reaching 30 babies. I read all about you, and well can I be a father? Name's Derek by the way." He said slowly. "Sure! Come right in!" I said showing him into the house. Another father COMING to ME!
      He wanted to do it his way so I followed. He took me into the bathroom and we both stripped. We hopped into the shower and well, conceived a baby. Instead of me having to tell him he got dressed and after I pulled my shirt over my head he looked into my eyes. "Just friends?" He asked. "Just friends." I responded with a smile. "Great." He said. Then he left. That was easy!

 I went downstairs and started to play some video games with Harry. "I'm winning!" He shouted excitedly as his football player ran down the field. "Yes you are!" I said laughing. Then I got a phone call. It was an invite to my mothers dinner party. I shrugged and decided why not. I called the babysitter and kissed all my little ones goodbye. I changed into my formal atire like asked then left to my mothers.

 When i got there her new home smelled of pine and well.. Old people. I could see a change in my mother right away. One she was skinnier, a bad kind of skinnier, and her mood was absolutely ridiculously happy.

 She was cooking the dinner right there. I noticed Diana and Sarah weren't here.

 My mother said she felt a headache coming on. She went up the steps for a quick nap. Her face was quite bony and she had light bags under her eyes. What now? She started hacking as she slowly walked up the steps.

 I called her back down. "We need to talk." I said quietly. She pulled me into a bathroom. "What's the matter honey?" She asked in a sweet tone. "Honey? Mom no offence but you don't seem like the person to hate me one day then call me honey and sweethart the next.." I said confused. "Caitlin, its complicated you wouldn't understand." She said in her old tone. This infuriated me. "I've told you this before mom. I am no longer a kid. I understood things I shouldn't have when I was a kid. I would understand anything complicated right now. And when I say anything I mean it." I said slowly looking into her eyes.

 "Fine. You want to know whats been up? I'll tell you. I have Pneumonia. The doc gave me a few months to live and well I didn't want to leave the world with any grudges so I went to a life coach. That's when I realized I had a grudge with my own daughter. I just need to resolve it so I don't take it to the grave." She said. "Oh so if you weren't going to die or at least know you were going to die you wouldn't have done it? You would've left the world without loving me?" I asked offended. "Probably not." She said shrugging. "Just stop!" I almost screamed.

 All of this wanted to make me vomit. That and well the fact that I was probably pregnant. Thankfully we were in a bathroom. I ran over to the toilet and held my hair back.

 Then I well. Vomited. My mother was standing over me breathing on my back which didn't help. I got up and rinsed my mouth out. Then I walked out of the bedroom. Before leaving I walked up to my mom.

"I still love you no matter what. I've always loved you. Take care of yourself and call anytime." I whispered pulling her into a hug. I didn't even want tp bring up Matthew. She didn't say anything she just looked at me with a shocked expression. Then without another word I left.

 When I got home it was late. Harry was still playing his video game. I didn't mind. It was Saturday night for a reason.

 All three girls were still happily playing in the play pen. I walked over to the couch and picked up my remote then joined Harry.

 I finally beat him at the game. It was a whole one win to his 29. I was pretty happy. But then I had to send him to bed and I put all the little ones to bed. Then I crawled into my own bed.

 In the morning I did the laundry. Something that really needed to get done. But my good mood had gone completely south since last night. My mind just couldn't grasp that Matthew might possibly be okay. Because IF he was fine, why wasn't I hearing from him and why wasn't he home? I finally gave up and went to my room.

I sat on the ground and started to cry. My body went numb after a while and suddenly I didn't give a care in the world anymore. I slowly rocked on my side from all the crying. I curled up into a small ball and fell right asleep.

When I woke up again Harry was standing over me and he kept repeating mommy. "Mommys up. What do you need?" I asked rubbing my eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked. I put on the best fake smile I had in me. "Just fine. Go downstairs and get some lunch." I said getting up. "Alright..." Harry said quietly then he ran out of my room. I got completely up and looked at myself in the mirror. My face had dried tears on it an my eyes were bloodshot. I cleaned myself up as best as I could then I went downstairs.

 Hollie and I played with the blocks. It was really fun!

 I decided to watch some t.v but I was interupted by the soft kicking of the baby.

 I decided to watch t.v after my slight interruption. When Harry got home I helped him with his homework. I taught all three girls how to talk and I had fixed the trash compactor. It was an eventful day and when it was over I was more than happy. The next few days would be tough.

 The very next day I went downstairs. I felt a little funny but blew it off because of all of the crying. Then before I could sit down on the couch I went into labor. I called the babysitter and rushed myself to the hospital. These kids came quick!

 I gave birth to little baby boys. Welcome to the world little Dylan.

 And welcome to the world little Magnus! Named after a new friend Dylan Simse. You should check out his stories! (I will add a link later)

That night after all the kids were put to bed I sat down on the recliner. I finally came to my senses. Matt was gone, there was nothing that could bring him back. My hope had been shattered thrown out the window, then rained upon, and taken away by a horrible twister. I didn't want to think about what he looks like, I don't even want to think about burying him. I've tried telling myself that its all just some horrible dream but it must be a lond dream because its not going away.

Honestly I was broken from the inside out. Sure I have my kids to live for but after that theres not much to my life. I started to cry again. I was sick of crying but I just couldn't stop. Once the floodgates were open there was nobody strong enought to pull them shut, besides Matthew. My phone started to vibrate against my leg. I peered at it through teary eyes. The caller i.d showed an unknown number. I decided not to answer it.

The mystery caller called again. I ignored it. Finally as it rang for the third time I answered it. I took a deep breath and quietly made myself saw "Hello." My voice was choked out and it almost hurt to talk. "May I speak to a Caitlin Murray?" The voice rang. "Speaking." I choked out. "Is Matthew Humphrey your Fiance?" She asked. I sat straight up. "Yes why?" I asked quickly. "They've found him. He's injured pretty badly but. He made it. He's alive."